I Need Help

Everyone needs help sometimes. Everybody needs somebody. No-one knows all the answers all the time. It can be hard to ask for help, but carrying on alone without the help you need is far worse than asking. After all, what have you got to lose? Your Granny was right: two heads are better than one.

We’re here to help you find what you need. We signpost you to appropriate resources on the web for whatever is on your mind, whether it’s personal or business. Please do use the Contact information to give us feedback on how well it’s worked for you.

Not sure where to start?

Sometimes you know exactly what help you need. Sometimes you just know that something isn’t right. Both are perfectly good starting points.

Try asking yourself: “What’s the one thing I’d most like to make a bit easier?” It might be something at home, something at work, or a conversation you’ve been putting off.

You don’t have to sort out everything at once. Pick one thing, have a look through our personal help or business help pages, and take it from there. Small steps still count.

Asking for help is hard. Especially for men.

Men tend to be far worse about asking for help. Us blokes expect to solve problems, not to have problems. Admitting that we need help feels like admitting failure. Luckily, we’re learning to be wiser than that. There’s nothing manly about needing help, but not asking for it.

High-profile sports stars are helping by being honest about their problems, including mental health problems. Some of them are archetypal hard men. Frank Bruno, the vastly popular boxer, was one of the first. The more successful, but perhaps less popular, Tyson Fury followed. He is proud to work as part of Bruno’s organisation to help others. England prop forward Joe Marler has also written about his need for help. If they can ask for help, so can the rest of us.

How do you actually ask for help?

“Just ask” sounds simple enough. So does “just assemble the flat-pack furniture”. Sometimes a few instructions come in handy.

You don’t need a carefully prepared speech. Try: “I’m having a bit of trouble with something. Have you got time for a chat?”

If you know what would help, say so. Perhaps you want advice, a hand with a practical job, or someone to listen while you get your thoughts straight. “I don’t need you to fix it—I just need to talk it through” is a useful thing to be able to say.

And if the first person you ask can’t help, try someone else. They may not have the time, experience or right words. That doesn’t mean you were wrong to ask.

Personal Help

Life is wonderful! But at times life is also complicated and confusing. A little advice at the right time can help stop a molehill becoming a mountain. The first step to finding a solution is recognising there is a problem. The second step is to ask for help.

The web is a great place to find help. It’s quick, confidential, and full of useful information. We’ve picked out some of the best resources here.

Business Help

Nobody was taught at school how to be a boss or how to run a company, yet lots of us end up doing it. Most of the time, most of us do a very good job. We learn on the job, and from previous jobs, and by learning lessons from those around us. We find mentors to advise us. We learn from our mistakes, and our wins.

For all of us there are those moments when something new crops up that you’ve not faced before. That’s why we’re here to help.

Help others, and help yourself

Lots of different people give lots of different advice on how to live a good, happy and fulfilled life. One common theme from many of them is that it’s good to give back. Giving money is fine, but giving your time, which is harder to get back, is better.

Some people give their time informally, helping out the neighbour who’s getting on a bit or the guy who seems a bit isolated. Others do it by formal volunteering for organisations. There are lots out there, so whatever your interests are, you can find the right place.

If you have a skill, such as speaking a foreign language, teach it. If you have a love of something, like sport or music, help others to enjoy it, too. And if you feel like trying something completely new, go out and give it a go. The worst that can happen is that you’ll find out it’s not for you: lesson learned. The best is that you will find something new that you are good at, that you love doing, and that makes life better for someone else.

Plus, when you volunteer, you meet your fellow volunteers. They may well be a diverse bunch of people, but you all have one interest in common, so it’s a great way to make new friends.

Know someone who could use a hand?

You don’t always have to wait to be asked. A simple “How are things, really?” can open a conversation that someone’s been finding difficult to start.

Listen before jumping in with solutions. Ask what would help. A specific offer—“Shall I come with you?” or “Can I give you a hand with that tomorrow?”—can be easier to accept than “Let me know if you need anything”.

You don’t have to have all the answers. Being there is a pretty good start.

Finding the Right Help

The internet is full of advice. The problem is finding the useful information amongst the sales pitches, outdated articles and conflicting opinions.

I Need Help aims to make things simpler. We look at common problems, explain the options in plain English and point you towards the type of help you may need.

We don’t pretend to know everything. Instead, we research the subject, share what we have learnt and, where appropriate, highlight specialists and organisations that may be able to help.